Christopher Columbus

There are lots of queer things that discovers do.
But his was the queerest, I swear.
He discovered our country in One Four Nine Two
By thinking it couldn't be there.

It was his folly, it wasn't his fault,
For the very best maps of the day
Showed nothing but water,extensive and salt,
On the West, between Spain and Bombay.

There were monsters, of course, every watery mile,
Great krakens with blubbery lips
And sea-serpents smiling a crocodile-smile
As they waited for poor little ships.

There were whirlpools and maelstroms, without doubt
And tornado of lava and ink.
(Which as nobody yet had been there to find out,
Seem a little bit odd, don't you think?)

But Columbus was bold and Columbus set sail
(Thanks to Queen Isabella, her pelf),
For he said" Though there may be both monster and gale,
I'd like to find out for myself."

And he sailed ad he sailed and he sailed and he sailed,
Though his crew would have have gladly turned round
And, morning and evening, distress fully wailed
"This is running things into the ground!"

But his paid no attention to protest or squall,
The obstinate son of the mast,
And so, in the end, he discovered us all,
Remarking,"Here is India, at last!"

He didn't intend it, he meant to heave to
At Calcutta, Rangoon or Shanghai,
There are many queer things that discovers do.
But his was the queerest. Oh my!